Peer 1 Critique: Addressing First Writing Sample(s) & Presence

A Critique of Kathleen's Writing Samples located at:


Out of the three writing samples Kathleen provided I enjoyed the 'Friendship' one. I liked it because it revealed the personal side of the writer, making them easier to relate to. A simple topic like friendship is so important to establish and maintain throughout your life. The writing sample easily introduces the topic of interest and transitions into the reasons friendships should be cherished. The writer's writing style is constant and systematic.

Some optional suggestions may be for this particular writing sample is to personalize the piece by communicating personal emotion in a way that makes your audience feel those same good and bad emotions you experienced.

The topic in the second writing sample was a good choice. However, I felt somewhat rushed when reading through it. This sample did not grab my attention as much as I thought it was going to.
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The only issue I had with the third writing sample was how the content was projected. At first glance it was way too dense, otherwise I thought the writing was informative and useful. With that said light reformatting of the contents would help with visual appeal.

Presence

There is a certain honesty about Kathleen's writings. I feel like I can easily relate to her interests, aspirations, and even her unsureness with what she wants to do for the rest of her life. I feel like it wasn't too long ago I experienced similar feelings; emotions. Kathleen has a strong and welcoming presence. She sounds like she is open to learning new things and someone who is not easily offended.