My Niche Search

The Webster dictionary definition for niche is a position particularly well suited to the person who occupies it; "he found his niche in the academic world". To me, the word niche associates with someone who has a strong sense of themselves and once they find their niche, it's like the person's finally arrived home. Finding a place to identify with has always been a challenge, which I attribute it with being adopted. Even though this is just a small part of who I am, it has had siginificant influence over my life, positive and negative.

Despite putting myself in every type of possible environment, I have yet to discover a true niche. I tried finding it in college where I joined various clubs. One these club's was the Asian American Club, which I only attended one meeting and that was enough for me to know I did not want to return. What I am going to share with you next may sound funny, but I had never been in a room full of so many Asian people. My desire to be "part" of a cohesive group has always been strong, but whenever the opportunity arose it only left me feeling uneasy.

The fact that I was considered the "minority" growing up, it only engrained this yearning to always be part of something, like a niche. At the same time the notion of "groups" is not in line with my own beliefs. Part of me feels that I would only be segregating myself into a distinct group that are selective of its members. The very thing that has caused me to feel like I am an outlier, which has been something I've become more accepting of in the recent years. So in "picking my niche", I would have to say I am still trying to find one I can identify with.